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Deviant for 11 Years
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POP. by Victor-Dixie POP. :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
I think sometimes
That I can afford to tell you
If I dissect the meaning first...
Can you tell me how many times I've said;
"I love you(r) smile"?
How funny these rules
Of young romance
That force us to add such
Useless adjectives
And break our love down
Into tangible parts...
"No, of course I don't love you-
but I like you a lot
And my god, I love your voice
Do you know how much I love your eyes?
I love
when you hold me like that"
And I love every moment with you...
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
No Answer
How can I slow the beating of my heart
Without the reassurance of your gaze?
This faded photo does not let me see if there is
Pain behind your eyes.
The echo of your voicemail rings loud through my cordless phone
-there is nothing to connect us.
Were you to see these words, maybe they could hold for you
More meaning
Than the late night texts, and the frantic emails
I now daily flood your inbox with.
But how am I to know if a
Single word has reached you?
Now each missed message makes my heart skip
Each minute passed without a sign from you
Fills me with worry as I try to fix our
Lost connection.
I need more than these shadows of you
I need a sign that you're alright...
I need you to pick up the phone.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
Poison Ivy Pinup by Victor-Dixie Poison Ivy Pinup :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0 Harley Quinn Pinup by Victor-Dixie Harley Quinn Pinup :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 2 0 Boyfriend by Victor-Dixie Boyfriend :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0 Love Lasts II by Victor-Dixie Love Lasts II :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 1 3 Love Lasts by Victor-Dixie Love Lasts :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 9 For Valentine's Day by Victor-Dixie For Valentine's Day :iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 1 0
The Shadow Of Your Gaze
My god, how those eyes consume me...
The shadows they hold bring me to depths unknown
The light they're reflecting against my own
Is near blinding-
But it's their shadows that capture my soul.
The deepest sea blue...
How can they be part of you when every bit of your-self's
Made from light?
Still, for day we need night...
And the night in your eyes lasts past dawn.
I'll wait for the sun  
In your shadow;
May your eyes be the stars in my night.
My god, how one look can control me...
May you never lose that small glimmer of light.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
What I Would Tell You
How could I not feel the words within me stirring?
   As I lay in bed, I listened to the
     Sounds of you brushing your teeth.
Your cologne still hugs my bedsheets
And your water glass has left its mark
On my bedside table. 
   Your kisses echo through the apartment
   And I imagine your hand in mine.
The realization that you think you're the lucky one...
                             e a r t h    s h a t t e r i n g.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
To Heal All Wounds
How quickly things are lost in time...
The subtleties of touch
The lingering breath of your cologne
Your sharpened eye reflected in mine
Now fade away to hide amongst
The darker thoughts
My heart won't unveil
And can't pretend to have erased at last.

May his name fall from my lips
As his face has from my mind
And may they stay locked away there in the
Cavities of time
And may I never again look upon them and
Wish that they were mine...
Quicker now, must I lose them
For we haven't very much time...
I run in hopes to lose them
And to finally soothe my mind.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 1 1
The Morning After: Edit
I wash the smoke from my hair
And feel the drunken smile
Smeared into my lipstick
Be dragged away
Bit by bit
With each
And every
Guilt and mascara stream down my face
And sting my eyes
-I watch them swirl down the drain.
I scrub my skin red
Eliminating every inch of him from my flesh
Still feeling his hands on my arm.
With each
And every
I close my eyes and swirl down the drain.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
Thank You For The Soup
Thank you for kissing me
Even though I have a cold
And I know you're a germaphobe
And I know it crossed your mind
But you still did it, anyway.
Thank you for bringing me meals
Enough to last a week
And for picking out healthy things
And for knowing I like junkfood better
But you knew this would be better for me.
Thank you for holding my hand
While I slurped away at my soup
And for telling me I looked like a movie star
And for looking me in the eye as you said it
But I know I just look sick and gross.
Thank you for being my sweetheart
And thank you for the soup.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
"I'm sorry"
That those are the words I hear most
Running from my lips to yours.
That instead of "I love you"
"You're sexy"
Or "thank you"
I'm hearing "I'm sorry" again and again.
I'm sorry for feeling I have to apologize
For things that were said when I was a kid
And I'm sorry that I don't know why I'm sorry
Because I swear, for the life of me
I don't know what I did
But something made us crack
And all the "sorrys" in the world and all the
Wonderings and the dreams and all the
Effort I could give won't bring you
Back to me now.
And that makes me sorry that I didn't
Spend less time on apologies and
Focus my energy on showing I care.
And I'm sorry that all you heard were excuses when really
I should've known, just because you were there that we
Still had a chance,
If I'd just made it work
And I'm sorry that even this poem makes me sound like a
Jerk because I'm just repeating again
"I'm sorry"
And still you're just hearing
"I'm sorry"
When I should be telling you all the things that I fee
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0
I Promise
Your words fell down the stairs
Landed at my feet, with a
     t h u d.
I wish I'd never seen your face so dark as then.
All the laughter and the love-light had seeped out from your eyes
And I wished to god I'd never heard a whisper of those lies
The  s i l e n c e  of your voice was deafening.
Regret weighed on my heart
And all the "sorrys" in the
     w o r l d
Could not begin to tell you how I felt right then.
All thoughts of doubt you banished from my mind with that one look
The hollowness inside me could not compare to what I took
I'll  n e v e r  make you feel that way again.
:iconvictor-dixie:Victor-Dixie 0 0



Emily D.
I'm an actor a student a writer a director a book lover a day dreamer a shower singer a cookie monster a doodle maker a window gazer a people person a babysitter an art lover a hopeless romantic a neurotic and a friend.

Current Residence: Toronto Ontario,Canada
Favourite genre of music: see above.
Operating System: MAC
I got that bamboo from someone very special over 4 years ago...
almost exactly 4 years ago...

I can remember him telling me, "It only lives for like, 6 months, a year tops when its cut like that, but that's still longer than a bouquet of flowers. Just don't feel bad when it dies"
and he told me about how he got the bamboo with 3 stems that represented luck, as opposed to the 2 that were for love, because the three came in the jar with red rocks and was "pretty"

It lived past 6 months, it lived past a year.

Within a week of us breaking up one of the stems very suddenly died.
I took it as a sign (yes, even us atheists can believe in signs, and karma, and fate...)
Suddenly I had this symbol of love, my luck had died but I had love...?
Only thing was I was alone...

The other two stems lived until about a month ago...
Nearly 4 years later...
When suddenly I again had someone in my life who made me feel wonderful.
A person who I think of non-stop, someone who I find myself dreaming about, making plans about...
I finally had back all the things I thought were lost to me forever, things I thought happened once in a lifetime, and usually as the first in a lifetime
-I got them back.

And then my bamboo died.

And I'm taking it as a sign.

I don't need to cling to memories and dwell on regrets, I don't need some symbol of luck I don't need some symbol of love- I have both of them in him.

This WAS the right choice, I am sure of it.
And he IS the right guy, I know this more than I ever have before.
So with that helpful hint from my bamboo I can now charge confidently forward, with him, and I will do everything possible to make sure that this time, things don't just up and die...

This time I'll get it right.
  • Listening to: Wolf Like Me - TV On the Radio
  • Reading: Cats Cradle- Kurt Vonnegut
  • Eating: leftovers

Journal History


Add a Comment:
Marvin000 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2010
Hey Victor-Dixie, I think I met you two at the Fan Appreciation Show, and thanks for adding me to your DeviantWatch. I hope my future work can keep you coming back for more.
Victor-Dixie Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2011
Yes you did! I haven't been on here in quite a while (as you can see from my late response) but I will be checking in more often now!
MiC-TOO-CLiCHE Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2009
thank you. =D
Felka-wolf Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
thankies for the favies, random person. :D
RedKestrel Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I noticed that you do not have an avatar.
I am doing avatar requests so if you are interested take a look at my journal for more information.
Sometimes-Why Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2009
Thankyou for the fave!
Much apreciated. x3
adreu Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2009
n__n ♥
ShawnVanBriesen Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for the favs!
caffeNER0 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2008
thanks for the :+fav: :)
alperch Featured By Owner May 24, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
you're so talented..
congrats.. :)
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